The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence, and I made love to you.”
Yes, she says, “I remember it well.”
OK, he says, “How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?”
“Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!”
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I’ve got to see these two old-timers having
sex against a fence. I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble. So, he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt, and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, “Excuse me, but that was something else. You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?”
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
“Fifty years ago, that wasn’t an electric fence.”…….
SIX-YEAR-OLD BOY SETS UP A JOKE STAND TO GIVE NEIGHBORS A LAUGH DURING QUARANTINE…..I like this kid….Callaghan McLaughlin from Saanich, British Columbia….wakes up early every day….eats his breakfast, does his school work and then sets up his joke stand…..you what his goal is….. “To spread joy and laughter to his neighbors, without violating any social distancing rules”…..a freakin’ six-year-old gets it….and most of the adults in America can’t?……anyway,…..he says he only knows about 13-14 jokes….normally year around he operates a lemonade stand….but mom thought this was a better idea because of the pandemic….mom said; “I had to think of something that was going to be contactless and cashless but also had the same sort of community spirit and social aspect that a lemonade stand has”….and by him doing this….the community feels more connected….my favorite joke…. “Where did the bull take the cow on a date?…..to dinner and a mooooovie!”…..Canadian actor Ryan Reynolds tweeted that Callaghan is a…..hero!
HOW CAN THE WORLD….Come together for a virtual vaccine summit…..where world leaders joined together to pledge $8 billion for a vaccine….plus, global businesses like the idea…..and America and Russia refuse to participate?…..70+ thousand have died already in America…..Russia, we have no idea how many cases are existing within the country….but it is known that three doctors have accidentally or are falling and or jumping out of widows because they wanted to talk about the virus…..ah, yeah….there’s been a lot of window diving lately in Moscow….anyway,….and “STUPID” would rather spread lies when it comes to handling the virus…..than joining other countries to help find a cure…..even though 108 potential COVID-19 vaccines are in the works worldwide…..and health experts are questioning “STUPID’S” optimistic vaccine timeline…..and here’s some more stuff your local news probably didn’t tell you about…..France reported a COVID-19 case in December before the outbreak surfaced…..Japan’s prime minister pushes a homegrown drug without solid evidence….India will repatriate thousands of citizens stranded abroad….global deaths are over 255,000…..this administration is willing to risk a surge of 3000 deaths…..per day….in order to open the country…..y’all gonna die….unless YOU do something…..because a security guard was shot and killed because he asked someone to wear a mask….and a park ranger was pushed into a lake because he asked the patrons to please wear masks and social distance themselves….…..and “STUPID” is still calling the armed to the teeth with weapons protestors…. “good people”….and the police still do nothing to them…..except let them practice their second amendment right…..which has nothing to do with the virus…..you can’t shoot it so, what’s up with the guns?…..just imagine if Blacks and Latinos armed to the teeth march down a street protesting racial injustice….it would turn into a bloodbath…..and that alone should tell you something is wrong….and hearing that Vice President Pencie-Poop wanting to disband the coronavirus task force around the end of May only reiterates what I said before…..y’all gonna die……it’s up to you because we’re dealing with a man who said he’s talked to 100’s of Governors about the virus…..we have fifty states….and he has a problem allocating funds for states with Democratic leaders…..REB-publican leaders he’s fine with giving them money for their states….but a Democratic one….nope….. experimental vaccine testing is starting…..definitely a group I have no desire to be part of….most fast-food places are out of meat….McDonald’s is choosing to get their beef from China…..schools might be opening soon….scientists are still saying wait….globally there are 3,646,206+ cases globally…..1,199,238+ of those case are in…..America…..doesn’t it bother you that our so-called leaders are saying….the U.S. needs to reopen the country and accept more deaths?….is there anyone in particular they have in mind…..who should die?…who should be sacrificed for corporate greed?…..because I’ll bet none of their family members would be on that list….the past administration had put together the best pandemic response system ever….and “STUPID” and his cronies just threw it away…..and now “STUPID” is saying once the country re-opens….the virus will pass….in what world is this guy living in?