December 29, 2021

BLAZING SADDLES

….turned 40-years old last weekend…..now if some of you are doing what I’m doing….counting back to when you first watched the film….you’re realizing two things….that was a long time ago…and we’re old…..the truth is….there is no way in hell they could make that film today….if the Politically In-Correct Conservatives are losing their minds over a Coke commercial just think what this film would do to them…..Mel Brooks insulted everyone….and he didn’t pull any punches….Blacks, Jews, Catholics, Gays, Rednecks, Latinos, Country Folks, Politicians, In-breds….he even had Indians speaking German….and we laughed because the shit was funny!…..I sat on the sofa, watched the film last weekend and was quoting lines and singing along to the songs…..remember…. “I’m Tired….Excuse me while I whip this out…..badges, we don’t need no stinking badges….Gabby, is the Sheriff coming?…..the sheriff is a Ni…DONG!…..he says the Sheriff is near…..no dang nabit, I said the Sheriff is a Ni…DONG!…..throw out your hands push out your tush…..I get no kick from Champagne….Let me see if what they say about your people is twue…..It’s twue, oh it’s twue!”….and who can forget Mongo punching out the horse….and last but not least…..the campfire scene….made me not eat beans for a long time…..happy birthday Mel…..too bad they don’t make them like that anymore….and don’t forget….it was shot in Panavision and Technicolor….and Richard Pryor helped with the script!

CLAUDETTE COLVIN WAS THE FIRST PERSON ARRESTED FOR RESISTING BUS SEGREGATION…..In 1955..…which was nine months before Rosa Parks..…but given the social norms of the time and her youth, (she was a pregnant, unmarried teenager) the NAACP leaders worried about using her to represent their movement.

AMERICA’S LONGEST MARRIED COUPLE HAS A SUPER SWEET LOVE STORY…..They met when they were in the 5th grade….Harold used to bring Edna candy bars from his parents store…..Edna said; “I was his girlfriend and there’d be a Baby Ruth candy bar on my desk every day….two if I was mad.”….so on their 82nd anniversary which was November 24, 2013 they celebrated in Las Vegas with a Baby Ruth shaped cake and T-shirts that read “Together since 1931…..they truly are a sign of hope to us all!

MICHAEL SAM LIKELY TO BECOME FIRST OPENLY GAY MAN SELECTED IN NFL DRAFT…..I really don’t understand this “Coming Out Thing”….why does someone have to “Come Out?”….you are who you are….and if someone doesn’t like it too bad….but I don’t have to go on ESPN, CNN or Sesame Street to tell you about it….and since this “Coming out” thing is so popular, I’ve decided to come out right now….Hello, my name is Michael Whitaker and I’m black….makes about as much sense doesn’t it?….and as for you Homophobic NFL players….if you don’t like it then go play Cricket…..because Michelle Obama, John Elway and I do not have a problem with it!

CRIMES OF PASSION: SEX LAWS IN AMERICA:

OREGON…It’s illegal to lie down in public restrooms or for two people to share a stall meant for one
UTAH…It’s illegal to marry a first cousin before 65 (55 if you can prove both parties are infertile)
COLORADO….Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited
ARIZONA…You may not have more than two dildos in the same house
KANSAS….Illegal sodomy includes oral sex, but anal penetration with a finger is allowed under specified circumstances
TEXAS…It is illegal to own more than six dildos
LOUISIANA…Necrophilia is legal
MISSISSIPPI…It’s illegal to teach others what polygamy is
ALABAMA…Incestuous marriages are illegal
TENNESSEE…Students may not hold hands in school
NORTH CAROLINA…Pretending to be married in order to share a hotel room is illegal
PENNSYLVANIA….Oral and anal sex is illegal
INDIANA…It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public
OHIO….No person shall solicit sex from another of the same gender if it offends a second person
NEBRASKA….You can’t get married if you have gonorrhea
MONTANA….It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than the missionary style

1 IN 4 AMERICANS DON’T KNOW THE EARTH CIRCLES THE SUN…..Yeah….and some think you can drive to Europe….but when you think about it you can…no really….you head north through Canada…and when you enter Russia….look for a sign pointing towards Moscow and hang a right….and then keep straight until you hit Poland….the biggest problem you’ll run into is….there are no gas stations on the North Pole.

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