Thank you for being my best friend, thank you for making me a better performer on stage, thank you for being a big brother, thank you for making me smile, laugh and being there to hold my hand when I was confused. I’m glad we had the chance to keep our promise to each other. You waited for me to come and say good-bye. You looked at me and smiled. You knew I was there. There were still so many things I wanted to say…..we couldn’t talk….I sat and held your hand to let you know I will miss you. I wanted you to know if you’re tired…..it’s ok to go to sleep because we kept our promise to each other. When I returned at ten in the morning to see you the Nurse told me you decided to go to sleep at six. There are so many of your friends who will miss you and will never forget you. We will always love you. So, when you see Pete, Jim and Faron, you tell them I’m looking forward to jamming “Mustang Sally” again. Love you Christian! Rest In Peace.
LIL’ KIM’S PLASTIC SURGERY…..Well, if she was going for the Jabba The Hutt look…she nailed it.
10 THINGS YOU KNOW YOU WILL NEVER DO IN YOUR LIFETIME….1 – Have lunch with the Queen of England, 2 – Be a Rocket Scientist, 3 – Swim the English Channel, 4 – See Rosario Dawson up close and butt-naked, 5 – Teleport, 6 – Punch Donald Trump in the face, 7 – Understand stupidity, 8 – See the ancient ruins in Iraq, Iran and Afghanistan, 9 – Become President of the United States, 10 – Search for Alien life (unless I go to Walmart again).
SPINNING THE BALL WILL GET YOU A PENALTY BECAUSE THE NFL IS NO FUN….Oh come on!…this is getting stupid….no dancing, you can’t nail the QB anymore, no Stickum (thanks to Lester Hayes), no forearm hits, you have to basically say, “May I tackle you please?” to the receivers….change the rules back to when The Oakland Raiders first came into the league…..”THAT WAS FOOTBALL”….why not just change the game to “Tag – you’re it or Touch Football?”….you can’t do anything without a Zebra throwing a yellow flag….nothing but a bunch of high-paid crybabies!!
NEW YORK FASHION WEEK…..I’ll explain it to ya…..Oh, nice dress…..really nice dress…..expensive dress…..If I could afford it what would I wear it to…..you’re kidding me right?….who in their right mind would wear that rag….girlfriend, don’t take this personally but you need to go home and try again.
MAN ATTACKED BY LION, SAVED BY BEAR…..Well what was the tiger doing?
GERMAN GROOM FORGETS BRIDE AT GAS STATION…..He better keep on driving….unless he was trying to tell her something.
HOW DOES DEODORANT WORK…..On some and not on others.
MARTIN LUTHER FATHER OF THE PROTESTANT REFORM ONCE SAID….. “Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep….whoever sleeps long, does not sin….whoever does not sin, enters Heaven…..Thus, let us drink beer!”
11 SCARIEST HORROR MOVIES OF ALL TIME…..And only three of them are worth watching…..but here’s my 11…..The Haunting – not the re-make one…..The Changeling – the wheelchair is worth it….Psycho – classic….Chucky – another reason why I hate puppets and dolls….Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte – Bette at her best….Saw – they will make you cover your eyes….Hellraiser – Pinhead is my man….I Saw The Devil – that is one pissed off husband…..Hostel – made me re-think about visiting Bratislava….I Spit On Your Grave….She gave those guys everything thing they deserved…..Audition….Tee, tee, tee, tee, tee…tee, tee, tee, tee, tee!
KANYE WEST WEARS CONFEDERATE FLAG ON JACKET….That is one image which really pisses Nicole off….and she’s not American….every time we’re home and she sees a flag….she wants me to stop the car and let her rip it to pieces….and for the life of her she cannot understand why “HE” would wear one…..me neither.