DAUGHTER: Hey squirt…..how was educational prison today?
SON: I’m not sure
MOM: What happened this time
SON: Somehow a glitch in the matrix sent the class to talk about Goldilocks and the Bear family
DAD: Weird
SON: Tell me about it….and then I said that story is the first example of Colonialism we’re learning about….and we’re taught to be on her side….like the bears were wrong for defending their home
MOM: Good point
DAUGHTER: Me personally….she did a B&E….broke into their crib, started eating their food…..and was bitchy about it and then had the nerve to take a nap in one of their beds…..and complain about their beds…..not her beds
MOM: And your point….is?
DAUGHTER: My point is…..the bear family had the right to claw her entire face off…gnaw her puny butt to pieces and freeze the rest of her for the winter…..she thinks she can roll up on a house and use that squatter’s rights thing?……privileged hussy
MOM (looks at Dad): What, I agree with her
MOM: Ok, since you don’t have anything to do this morning…..pack your things and go to school
SON: Ah, hello…..school doesn’t start until next week
MOM: I know….just take it easy and walk slow
MY NEW NEIGHBORHOOD FRIENDS……PHONE CALL and SUSAN…..Apt. 307…..
PHONE CALL: Why are you looking so sad.
SUSAN: Yesterday, I gave a homeless man my lunch because he said he was hungry
PHONE CALL: Well, that’s a good thing
SUSAN: No, it wasn’t
PHONE CALL: Why not?
SUSAN: Because when I saw him today…..he gave me a recipe book
MY NEW NEIGHBORHOOD FRIENDS……DAUGHTER and MOM……Penthouse 1……
DAUGHTER (Walks in the house and slams the front door….straight to her room…..SLAM!)
SON: This can’t be good
DAD: Patience elder one
MOM: Any idea?
(Dad and Son): Nope……..
MY NEW NEIGHBORHOOD FRIENDS……GRANDSON and GRANDMA…..apt. 817
GRANDSON: They say when you get older you travel more
GRANDMA: What they don’t tell you is that it’s to doctor appointments
MY NEW NEIGHBORHOOD FRIENDS……DAUGHTER and MOM……Penthouse 1……
DAUGHTER (hour later): Sorry…..
MOM: That bad huh?
DAUGHTER: I can’t take humans anymore
SON: And today’s topic was?
DAUGHTER: Human rights believe it or not
DAD (to himself): Not good
DAUGHTER: I lost it….when one kid named Martin asked….while we spoke about human rights vs ICE, I pointed out the fact that for some reason there’s a rumor going around that women are being impregnated in some ICE facilities…..this….yeah, Samuel L. Jackson favorite word….idiot actually asked…. “So, explain to me how are women and girls in ICE custody getting pregnant?”…..when I said…. “What’s happening in America to people who do have a right to be here and the conditions they’re living in, and abuse heaved upon them is just wrong…..
MOM: I’m scared…..what did you say?
DAUGHTER: I jumped up and screamed…. “ THEY’RE BEING RAPED MARTIN…..THEY’RE BEING RAPED”…..while also adding,….. “All this illegal detention is nothing new it’s White Supremacy 101”…..then, Marty said…. “Prove it!”
SON: He said that to you?
DAUGHTER: Yep
MOM (To Dad): I can’t wait to hear this
DAD (To Mom): This is going to be soooo good
DAUGHTER: I began with two words….. “White Culture”……a culture which is genocide, rape, murder, sexual assault, pedophilia, spreading disease, enslavement, brutality, horror…..this culture is what you can basically call domestic terrorists in our own land….the KKK, what happened in Charlottesville, Virginia….the “Unite the Right rally…..January 6th……the attack on the Capitol…..all domestic terrorists….White culture is barbaric….and you don’t see that this administration who’s sole purpose was to “Make this crap country great again” is doing exactly what has happened before….well then you’re a special kind of stupid”…..and then I left the room to pee
SON: So, what did your teacher say….or do?
DAUGHTER: Tried not to take a side…..chose not to have an opinion…..and stayed quiet….I wanted to slap her.
SON: Well, we know what we are….but know not what we may be…..mom, dad may I speak to her teacher?
DAUGHTER: WHAT!??….you just quoted Shakespeare…….seriously?
(Mom, Dad and Daughter): NO!
MOM: You look confused
SON: I am, I was watching the nightly news
MOM: And what did we learn?
SON: There was some politician….and not really a bright one talking about women’s rights
DAD: Oh, this is gonna be good
DAUGHTER: What did he say?
SON: He was talking about women’s birth rights and said…. “If a woman chooses to have an abortion, then she’s committing murder”
MOM: That’s way too much info for a 6-year-old
SON: No mom, I get all of that….birth control, woman’s choice stuff…..I understand the process
MOM: Ah, ok…..I think?
SON: So, my question to him would be…. “If abortion is murder….does that make using a condom kidnapping?
MOM (looks at Dad): I can’t with this kid anymore…..I just can’t