…..Look, let’s cut the bullshit….and go straight to the Hunger Games already….ok?
I JUST WATCHED….What I would put in the top ten ways……you do not want to die this way……in a special Oscar category…..I was in the kitchen….music coming out the speakers….searching and writing on one lap….half watching a basketball game and a film called Thrash….kind a watching that….until I turned and saw one of the many ways I hope I don’t die….now, a major storm is getting ready to slam a state below that Manson/Nixon….sorry, Mason/Dixon line….long story short….a town gets slammed with a tidal surge….a pregnant lady gets caught up in it..…her car slams into a tree..…which pins this….very close to dropping that tax write off…..in her car seat…can’t move….at all….but, two guys who don’t really know what the heck is going on….nor do they know what the heck they’re doing while the water continues to….surge….anyway,…..they notice the damsel in distress….oh what the hell…..so, Sir Lancelot leaps from his mighty steel truck….which is stuck in the flood…..sorry, forgot that part…back to the….surge….and Lance swims towards the stranded fair maiden in distress….and about to drop a baby…..trapped in the….still with me?….cool……….and said to her…. “Fear not, I shall rescue thee”….so he yells back to the other knight from the round table whose name I cannot remember right now….blame the wine ok?….. “Yo, get the clippers we need to chop a branch in half”…..the knight I cannot remember yells back…. “Bet!”….so while the knight I cannot remember slogged through neck high water…..all of a sudden he disappears….Lance turns around, notices the Matrix changed…..and swim off in the direction of the knight I cannot remember….leaving the one he promised to rescue….men huh?…..only to find out…..remember when Steven Speilberg blew up that shark?….yeah, his cousin took that move very personal…..and the knight I cannot remember and Lance said exactly what all of us would’ve said..…if we were in the same situation….and swam back towards the fair maiden…..oh, I forgot to mention the truck driver who also got caught up in the ..…surge….and slammed into a statue….he was hauling gas by the way and thought it was a good idea to kick open his jammed door….and try to help Lance….I guess watching the Knight I cannot remember get munched on….was not the incentive needed to keep your ass in the truck…..and he did the White people horror film thing….opened the door to try and help…..and lunch….so back to Lance….he made it right back to the car of the trapped fair maiden ….only to be eaten right in front of the pregnant fair maiden face….blood everywhere….while she slowly waited to drown…..now that sucks….what a horrible time consuming, mind torturing….way to die……oh, but wait, I forgot to mention the young Black teenager….whom I think may have to deal with the fear of leaving her house….looking from her living room window and watched what was going down……her contribution to the situation was to yell “SHARK” loud enough for Lance to hear it….a lot good that did him……she finally got up the courage to leave her safe place…..and save the fair maiden….guess what else happen in this new addition to shark movies?…..right, the exact same thing that’s happened in all of them…..sharks!….but I did like the foster kids who were being treated like crap by their adopted parents…..who were keeping their money to themselves.
AND OFF TO THE WORLD OF THE STUPID……
Hungry European tourists crashed a funeral to eat from the buffet after assuming it was a restaurant
A hospital was evacuated after an 8-inch WWI artillery shell was discovered in a patient’s butt
A Unted Airlines flight to China was forced to make a U-turn because the pilot forgot his passport
A food truck was stolen with the worker still inside
Cookie Monster was caught speeding by a traffic cam
A man staged a gunpoint robbery to propose to his girlfriend
A woman said her boyfriend didn’t use toilet paper, so she dumped him
A tourist was caught trying to smuggle otters and a prairie dog through airport security after he tried to hide them in his pants
A dad brought home a venomous snake to show his kids and wound up in the ER
A woman who missed her flight ran onto the tarmac to catch the plane
A man secretly lived in a mall for months and even had his own bed
Prep schoolteacher filmed sex with a student she was tutoring…. “Not my best thinking.”
A woman was found asleep in a Tesla on autopilot and was arrested for DUI
Trump owned company scores defense contract from the Trump administration
A woman accused of sexually assaulting a dog faces charges
Three women are on trial for using sex toys on passed out men
Florida blocks sociology courses for state colleges
A French student faces jail time in Singapore for licking a straw
A Secret Service officer was allegedly arrested for masturbating in a hotel hallway after a Trump assignment
Dad allegedly tried to beat the gay out of his 5-year-old son
REMEMBER….When I mentioned 6 scientists were missing or dead…..the ones linked to anti-gravity and UFO research…..and no one could explain why?….well, that number is now up to….12……UPDATE:…..13…..look, what they were involved in and working on….and it was some serious stuff….we’ll never know so….either they are gone….or are supposed to be gone……either way, this is one y’all need to leave alone.