…..A guy walks into a bar….sits on a stool….reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a little man and a piano….and sits it on the bar….and the little man starts playing….the bartender sees this…walks over and ask….
Bartender: Where did you get that?
Guy: There’s a genie outside granting free wishes
Bartender: Really?
Guy: Yep
So the bartender rips off his apron and dashes out the front door….later he comes back in….and is followed by a lot of little ducks…..he walks over to the man at the bar and screams;
Bartender: You didn’t tell me the genie was deaf….I wished for a million bucks
Guy: And you think I wished for an 11inch pianist?
SOMEONE NEEDS TO SERIOUSLY EXPLAIN THIS….To me…..during the Olympic basketball games….how in the hell….was LeBron James…..named…..MVP…..?
WHY NOBODY LIVES IN AMERICA’S 9 EMPTIEST STATES……This article points out some very important facts….lacking job opportunities and urban development…..which leads to lower resident numbers….limited expansion, high-cost of living….limited growth in these states….harsh weather conditions….industries like agriculture and mining declining…..sparse urban areas contribute to a low population……Maine…..1.4 pop….Montana…..1.13 pop…..Rhone Island…..1.10 pop…..Delaware 1.03 pop…..South Dakota 919,000 pop…..North Dakota 783,000 pop…..Alaska 733,000 pop….Vermont 647,000 pop…..and Wyoming 584,000 pop.
TRUMP MADE $300k FROM SELLING BIBLES….Yep,…..he’s making money from his branded bibles and cryptocurrency holdings…..and the idiot owes over $100 million….in liabilities….from three lawsuits he’s lost…..and let’s not forget the $350 mil the judge slapped him with in damages…..in the civil fraud case…..such a great businessman huh?…..I wonder how the sale of his golden sneakers are going?
SEVEN-YEAR-OLD WINS TEXAS STATE FAIR PIE CONTEST….Well you go Allen Gage from Mabank…..he became the youngest winner of the “Battle of the Blue Ribbons”…..beating out all the adults with his blueberry pie entry…..he learned his skills from his mom and grandma…..when his mom went with him to accept the ribbon….everyone thought she’d won…..the crowd lost it when Allen got the ribbon….you see,…..that’s why when I was a kid….I hung out in the kitchen with the “old folks”……and watched…..and learned…..when the kitchen was “stinkin” good with a dinner aroma…..still till this day…..when I’m home….I watch my mom….and still learn…..while she stinks up the kitchen with a dinner aroma….I guess I must’ve paid attention all too well…..because now I do most of the cooking and stink up the kitchen….with a dinner aroma……can someone please tell me if this is true….
BREAKING NEWS…..Australians will be required to submit ID….to access the internet….and the police must have access to their social media…..Ronnie…..Kat….Joe….this can’t be true right?
DEAR RELIGIOUS PEOPLE…..A Rabbi was asked by one of his students….. “Why did God create atheists?…..after a long pause, the Rabbi finally responded with a soft….but sincere voice…. “God created atheists….to teach us the most important lesson of them all….the lesson of true compassion….you see, when an atheist performs and act of charity…..visits someone who is sick…..helps someone in need….and cares for the world….he is not doing so because of some religious teaching…..he does not believe that God commanded him to perform this act….in fact, he does not believe in God at all…..so his actions are based on a sense of morality…..look at the kindness he bestows on others…..simply because he feels it to be right…..when someone reaches out to you for help….you should never say…. “I’ll pray that God will help you”…..instead, for that moment, you should become an atheist…..imagine there is no God who can help……and say…. I will help you.”