CHRISTIANITY:……the belief that the world was populated by one incestuous family…….TWICE!
BE KIND…..to everyone you meet….you may not know their battles…..they might have a teenager at home
IF THINGS….were so good 4 years ago….why was everyone….getting stimulus checks?
EVERY FAMILY….has one weird relative….if you don’t know who it is….then it’s probably you
OBSTACLES….don’t block the path…..they are the path
CALLING BIGOTRY….an opinion….is like calling arsenic a flavor
THE FIRST STEP….towards getting somewhere…..is to decide that you…..are not going to stay where you are
THE….. “Party of Law and Order”….will nominate a convicted felon for president….let that sink in
CHOCOLATE….is vital for our survival….dinosaurs didn’t have chocolate….and look what happened to them
LORD…..whatever you are baking outside….it’s done
TRAVEL….isn’t always about the destination….but about the journey
REMINDER….that Mitch McConnell literally froze….on camera…..unable to speak…. “TWICE”…..and no one asked him to step down
THE NEXT DECADE….is going to be defined by incredibly rich people underestimating…..how fucking mad the rest of us are
I WANT…..a restraining order…..on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant
SOME….drink from the fountain of knowledge…..others just gargle
I DON’T HAVE….a wet blanket…..I have a 75 pound dog…..with boundary issues
WE ALL DESERVE….oscars for our stunning performances…..as high functioning humans….in a crumbling society
IT’S FUNNY…..how Red, White and Blue represents freedom…..until they’re flashing behind you
YOU CAN’T TURN BACK THE CLOCK….but you can wind it up again
I NEVER THOUGHT….I would be that kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise…….and I was right
AROUND THIS TIME IN 2020……we couldn’t find toilet paper….now we can’t afford it
WORLD LEADERS……head to Switzerland for Ukraine peace summit…..instead of going to Ukraine….to usher in peace
LONG STORY SHORT…..it’s your turn
I’M THE SISTER…..nobody says nothing to…..cause I’ll go off on everybody
BIGGEST LESSON IN LIFE:….don’t ever think it can’t happen to you
CRYING….does not indicate that you are weak….since birth….it has always been a sign that you are alive
IF YOU TRIP AND FALL…a friend will ask you if you are ok?…..a good friend will help you up…….a best friend will laugh and say….. “Walk much dumbass?”
AND MY FAVORITE…..
BACK IN 1994……Gabriel met Christina at a party and they really hit it off…..they ended up getting married even though she was 30 years younger than him…..they were happily married for 20 years…..however, Christina eventually decided that she wanted to get a divorce…..but when she went to her lawyer, she was shocked to hear she was already divorced from Gabriel 20 years ago……and this is because 4 months after their marriage….the couple went to Dominican Republic for a vacation and Gabriel divorced her there…..because that’s the only country where one party can file for a divorce without informing the other party…..he said he did this because he knew one day Christina would divorce him and try to take his money.