IT’S IRONIC….that I use my driver’s license…..to buy stuff….that impairs my ability to drive
IN EVERY AGE…..it has been a tyrant, the oppressor and the exploiter…..who has wrapped himself in the cloak….of patriotism, or religion or both…..to deceive and overawe the people
MY PERSONALITY….is somewhere between….Mother Teresa….and Mother Fu#ker
I’M AT THE AGE….where my mind firmly believes I’m 29….my humor suggests I’m 12….and my body possibly died in the civil war
I LOVE SAYING…. “Sorry I’m out of it today”….as if there has been a day in the past 10 year….that I have been “In It”
IN THE END…..we all become stories
MY HUSBAND….just spent ten minutes looking for a baseball hat….that was on his head….I would’ve said something….except, where’s the fun in that?
A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE….who’ve spent years calling the younger generation….. “Snowflakes”…..now apparently want armed guys in riot gear….to protect them from teenagers….sitting peacefully on the ground
I CAN NO LONGER SEE YOU….with my eyes or touch you….with my hands….but I will feel you with my heart forever
PISSTIFIED: Being pissed off…..and mystified at their stupidity….at the same time
THE….Pledge of Allegiance was adopted in 1923……the Star Spangled Banner was adopted in 1929….. “Under God” was added to the pledge in 1954….. “In God We Trust” was added to our money in 1956…..they were not created….by Our Founding Fathers
THE WEST….won the world not by superiority or its ideas or values or religion….but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence….Westerners often forget this fact….non-Westerners never do
DO Y’ALL REMEMBER….before the internet….that people thought the cause of stupidity…..was the lack of access to information?….It wasn’t that
MY WIFE….often calls me crazy….then I remind her that she was the one….who accepted my marriage proposal
DON’T BE ASHAMED….to fart while you pee….after all….there is no rain without thunder
THE CONSTITUTION….contains 4,543 words….none of them are…..Jesus, Christianity…..or the Bible
WHEN SOMEONE RINGS THE DOORBELL….why do dogs assume it’s for them?
MISERY MIGHT LOVE COMPANY….but so does joy….and joy throws much better parties
DON’T BLOCK….all your haters…..leave one or two….so they can report back to headquarters
AND MY FAVORITE…..
WHY DOES IT NOT SAY…..anywhere in the Bible….that slavery is wrong?…..how is it possible that it is not immoral….to own another person?…..why isn’t that one of the Ten Commandments?….. “Thou shall not own another person”…..you want to sit here and tell me that fornication…..is worse than owning someone?