SIGN INSIDE A BAR:….. “DO NOT” leave your drink unattended…..the cat is an asshole
SOMETIMES….it’s not a secret…..it’s just none of your business
MAYBE….this world is another planet’s hell….. (Aldous Huxley)
FRIEND:…..My dream is to travel back in time
OTHER FRIEND:…..Just book a ticket to the USA
IN THE BIBLE…..foolish religious people ended up abandoning God..….and mindlessly worshiping a golden calf…..so it isn’t surprising that…..so many people today……are now bowing down to an orange jackass
THE ABUSE OF WOMEN AND GIRLS…..is the most pervasive and unaddressed…..human rights violation on earth
I DON’T WATCH FOX NEWS….for the same reason…..I don’t eat out of a toilet
AFTER BEING UNDOCUMENTED FOR 30 YEARS…..I’ve finally been approved for a U.S. green card…..which now in 2022 feels like scoring a ticket on the Titanic
SOMETIMES…..the best place to be…..is nowhere to be found
IT ACTUALLY…..doesn’t take much to be considered…..a difficult woman…..that’s why there are so many of us
THE SECRET OF FREEDOM…..lies in the education of people…..whereas the secret of tyranny…..lies in keeping them ignorant
YOU CAN’T GIVE AWAY…..a used mattress…..but somehow we’ll pay…..three hundred bucks…..to sleep on one in a hotel
RULE OF THUMB…..If someone routinely throws their lunch against a wall…..don’t give them the nuclear codes
THE BOOKS…..that the world calls immoral…..are books that show the world…..its own shame
FORGET BOOB SHOTS OR BUTT SHOTS…..show me a pic….of your medicine cabinet….so I know what I’m dealing with
TEXAS REPUBLICANS ARE SAYING….. “homosexuality is “an abnormal lifestyle choice”……call me crazy but…..maybe the people who carry an AR-15 to order a cup of coffee….aren’t the best to judge….what’s “abnormal”
PARENTS TODAY…..Text me when you get there…..text me who you’re with…..text me if you’re going to be late
PARENT IN THE 70’s………………….BYE!
AND MY FAVORITE:
I WAS SITTING ON A BUS…..behind a mother and her young son….her boy kept looking around…..and pulling funny faces at me…..after a few minutes……I got tired of his antics..….-so I said….. “When I was young, my mother told me…..that if I made a ugly face…..and the wind changed…..it would stay that way”……the little shit replied….. “Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”