THAT THE FACT…..the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court…..opened an investigation into the leaked brief within 24 hours…..but has yet to open an investigation into a sitting justice’s wife……openly plotting a coup to overthrow the U.S. government…..is a five alarm fire
IF YOU ARE…..a passenger in my car….and I turn the radio up…..do not talk
LEARNING….without thinking is useless…..thinking without learning is dangerous
THE CLOSER THE COLLAPSE OF AN EMPIRE…..the crazier the laws
LET’S ALL TAKE A MOMENT…..to be thankful…..that I don’t own a taser
REMINDER…..you’ll never feel 100% ready…..do it anyway
BE GOOD TO YOUR NIECES AND NEPHEWS…..one day you’ll need them to smuggle…..alcohol into your nursing home
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN……in one of those moods…..where you really don’t know what’s wrong…..but you fell irritated with everyone and everything
IF EVERYBODY LIKES YOU…..you have a serious problem
WHY DOES IT NOT SAY…..anywhere in the Bible that slavery is wrong?…..how is it possible that it is not immoral to own another person?…..why isn’t that one of the Ten Commandments?….. “Thou shall not own another person?”…..you want to sit here and tell me……that fornication is worse than owning someone?
MY THREE-YEAR-OLD….kept saying…..she wants a spirit guest and needs a spirit guest…..and has a spirit guest…..and like four exorcisms later…..I realized she was just talking about asparagus
FOX NEWS:……Texas lawmakers consider the death penalty for abortion
COMMENT:…..So Pro-Life…..they’ll kill ya
AT THIS POINT……Congress is just an arms dealer…..no education…..no access to healthcare……no housing…..no clean drinking water…..but we’ll finance your war
GENESIS 2:7…..defines the beginning of life as the baby’s first breath……clumps of cells don’t breathe air in the womb
YES, BOOKS ARE DANGEROUS……they should be dangerous……they contain ideas
I LOVE IT…..when someone insults me……that means I don’t have to be nice anymore
THE FIRST PEOPLE A DICTATOR PUTS IN JAIL…..after a coup are the writers, the teachers, the librarians……because these people are dangerous……they have enough vocabulary to recognize injustice……and to speak loudly about it……let us have the courage……to go on being dangerous people
SOME PEOPLE LIE SO MUCH……that if you see them in Hell…..they would say….. “I’m just down here looking for somebody”
BOOK BANNING……when you erase the history/experience of one kid…..to protect another…..what you’re also saying is…..that there is one type of kid worth protecting
IT’S LIKE THE COPS DON’T KNOW…..that the speed limit is different……when you’re listening to AC/DC
FORCED BIRTH…..in a country with the highest maternal mortality rate…..no paid maternity leave….no universal subsidized childcare…..no continued birth parent care……and frequently inaccessible mental health care
WHY DOES EVERYONE……associate Satan with heavy metal……for all we know…..Satan could like smooth jazz
DEAR WHITE PEOPLE…..as we approach these tanning months….just know there isn’t a single black person in the world who wants to hear…… “I’m almost as dark as you now”
AND MY FAVORITE…..
DATING A JEALOUS BOYFRIEND…..
HIM:…..Baby, where are you?
ME:…..I’m in church
HIM:…..Give Jesus the phone