SOMETIMES…..I go hours without listening to music.….it’s called sleeping
THE GREATEST WEAPON…..is not a gun or a bomb…..it is the control of information…..to control the world’s information…..is to manipulate all the minds…..that consume it
PLEASE PRAY FOR MY WIFE…..she’s not sick…..just married to me
MY GUARDIAN ANGEL….. “I’m gonna lose my job…..and end up in hell with this motherfucker”
WHEN THE MISSIONARIES ARRIVED……Africans had the land and the missionaries had the Bible…..they taught us how to pray with our eyes closed……when we opened them…..they had the land and we had the Bible…..(Jomo Kenyatta)
MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER…..just came into the kitchen and said….. “I’m watching this TV show…..it’s like a teen drama….but it’s set in the past”…..I asked her what it was called…..and she said;….. “Dawson’s Creek”…..I have been alive a long time
I HATE IT…..when I’m singing a song…..and the artist gets the words wrong
FOR MOST OF HISTORY…..anonymous was a woman
DID YOU KNOW..….muffins spelled backwards……is what you do when you take them out of the oven?
BASED ON THE AMOUNT…..of laundry that I do every week…..I am going to assume…..that there are people living here…..that I haven’t met yet
WRINKLES…..mean you laughed…..grey hair…..means you cared…..and scars mean you lived
THE BIGGEST LIE I TELL MYSELF IS…..and I quote;….. “I don’t need to write it down…..because I can remember it”
JIM MORRISON WAS RIGHT…..people are strange
I SUPPORT ANYONE’S RIGHT…..to be who they want to be…..my question is…..to what extent do I have to participate in…..your self-image?
ART….is how we decorate space…..music…..is how we decorate time
POLICE OFFICER:…..please step out of the car
ME:…..after this song
THERE IS A REASON…..why large cities are typically Democratic…..and small towns are typically Republican…..it’s because when people from different beliefs, nationalities, ethnicities and races…..live in close contact with one another…..they realize that deep down…..we are all the same
DEAR ALLAH…..I pray that whoever reads this shall have your comfort, joy, peace, love and guidance.….I may not know their troubles but you do…..please keep protecting us
THEY’RE JUDGING…..you cause you keep starting over……I’m clapping…..cause you never gave up
BEFORE RELIGION CREATED THE DEVIL…..who do you think people blamed for their mishaps?
DON’T CLING TO A MISTAKE…..just because you spent a lot of time making it
REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN:……75 years ago..….Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier…..as the first African American Major League baseball player……today we honor his lasting memory
COMMENT:…..Shouldn’t students learn why he wasn’t allowed to play?
AND MY FAVORITE…..
MY SON ASKED ME…… “Where does Poo come from?”…..I was a little uncomfortable.….but I gave him an honest answer…..he looked a little perplexed and stared at me…..in stunned silence for a few seconds…..and then asked…… “And Tigger?”