September 17, 2021

NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE 2021 IS BACK – WEEK 1

…..And the guy on NFL Game Pass….the one talking on The Redzone….said…. “And it’s good to see the stadiums full again?”…..damn near spit my beer on that one….so, you’re happy to see football again….me too….and your also happy a bunch of people are sitting or standing….maybe passed out by the 3rd quarter…off  piss beer….anyway,….in close quarters….thousands of them….during a viral pandemic….is that it?…..anyway,…..

YO, EAGLES FANS….if you did not see that “HIT” during the 1st quarter…..around 11.45….either that was a wrongly timed bathroom run…..or the munchies kicked in at the wrong time….watch it down to 11:04…..your defensive lineman put a hit on the ATL running back….that said; “STOP!”…..and created one of those moments where you can make a bunch of football fans globally say…. “DAMN” at the same time.

WASHINGTON….whatever you want to call yourselves….your QB is out of the game in the second quarter?….there’s something about quarterbacks with that team….wouldn’t it be cool if there was a curse place on the team….by some Native-American spirits….for using the name…. “Redskins?”…..and vowed to take out their leaders…..Kyle Allen……Alex Smith…..Robert Griffin III…..Joe Theismann……anyway,….

SEAHAWKS….Yo Russ…..before your game started….some guy we have to listen to….tell us what we already know about the sport said…. “This might be Wilson’s last year with the Seahawks because maybe the team might want to move on”….didn’t you throw a 60-yard something bomb to Lockett?

CHICAGO BEARS….I have a question…..during the defensive backs team meeting….did any player hear the defensive coach say;…. “Now, you make sure they don’t complete any 30, 40 or 50-yard passes ok?”….and all the players answers was a collective…. “Zzzzzzzzzzzzz?”…..I agree with one reporter…. “Glad to see the Bears defense is still taking precaution….against COVID-19 and are socially distancing.”

CARDNIALS…..I still hate Kyler Murray…..he still scurries like Jerry’s nephew….in the Tom & Jerry cartoons….you can’t catch his ass.

COWBOYS vs TAMPA BAY…..I have to admit it….and don’t tell my man Gip I said this….but I was rooting for the Cowboys….only because….when it comes to the New England area….I hate the Red Sox’s, the Celtics, the Patriots, that damn hockey team…..and Tom Brady….yo Dallas….you had the game….but your kicker’s foot was broke….and Dak….big props man….like 400-yards passing….welcome back man.

BENGALS…..I’m glad my big brother….Reggie William’s old team pulled off an upset….because the Vegas odds….were against them.   

BRONCOS vs GIANTS….You know you played a sucky game….when NFL Game Pass is showing highlights….and all they show is what Denver did….and not even bother to show a touchdown you scored.

GREENBAY….I don’t know man….but it looks like Aaron does not want to be there…..just sayin’.

KANSAS CITY vs BROWNS….Once I saw all the people in that stadium….I was thinking maybe they should change the name to….. “COVID City”…..hey Browns…..or as my wife loves to call her favorite team….. “The Tootsie Rolls”…..you had the game….every time you had the ball….you put points on the board….BUT….when your DB decided to zig…..and my man Hill….zagged and scored a touchdown…..something changed….and leaving all that time on the board for Mahomes….not good…..not good.

RAIDER NATION…..First,…..my man Cole….you have a foot…..Carlson….my man!…now that was a great opening Monday Night Football game…..we showed you how to contain and cause turnovers when it comes to Mr. Jackson….how does the song go?….. “Never meant to make The Ravens cry…..we won’t apologize a million time….sorry Mr. Jackson….Raider Nation’s for real!”……welcome to the Death Star!

JUSTIN HERBERT….it was good to see him again….I liked that kid last year….he had to step up for the Chargers….and man did he……as for the rest of the week one games….they were sort a like watching Chicago’s defense….the NFL needs to ban players from doing….the Lambeau Leap thing into the crowd…..it only takes one…..to infect many.…..and those of you who think it’s a good idea to interrupt football fans who have waited for the season to begin….always remember these universal….

FOOTBALL RULES….

  1. Do not call me after 8pm on Thursday nights or after 11am on Sundays or 7pm on Mondays
  2. If for some reason you decide to text me during a game, it had better be to ask me…. “Did you see that?”…to which I will respond… “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK?!?”
  3. If someone is dying call 911 before you call me because they’ll probably answer…and I won’t
  4. If someone has already died, do not call me…..there’s obviously nothing I can do….and there’s no need for both of us to be sad at the same time
  5. If you’re confused about my availability until February…..please check back to rule #1

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