March 25, 2022

YOU CAN’T HOLD A CANDLE TO THIS WORLD CHAMPION FARTER

…..Now Ronald Cabanas who lives in a village called Barangy Camandag…..in the Philippines…..managed to blow out five candles in 30 seconds.….just by the power of…..farting!…..and I know you really wanted to know that before you did whatever you have to do today.

OUTRAGED FATHER RECORDS UNCOMFORTABLE TSA PAT-DOWN OF PRETEEN DAUGHTER……I can relate to that parent…..because I’ve had a few people get touchy feely with me…..this female agent patted down this kid for over two minutes…..I caught an early flight one time.….went through security…..and then a pat-down…..now the guy doing it was a short wig wearing gay man…..not that I cared…..but what I didn’t like was…..him spending too much time rubbing the inside of my legs.….and looking down my pants..…and rubbing his hands all over my body…..finally I screamed,…. “ARE YOU DONE GODDAMMIT!”

HOW TRUE IS THIS…..Powerball…1.3 billion……U.S. population….300 million….everyone receives….4.33 million…..poverty solved! (Philipe Andolini)…..now I’m not the smartest person when it comes to math…..algebra and trig kicked my butt in high school.….and calculus…..as far as I know…..that could be the Roman Emperor Caligula’s cousin…as long as I can add, subtract, multiply and divide….and know how much money I’m getting paid..…I’m good…..if you paid everyone within a 3 block radius in your neighborhood….that amount of money….that’s a big dent in that billion…my man K-Lyles said, “Too bad the math doesn’t work out correctly…..it would be $4.33 as in four dollars and 33 cents per person”…..and that’s not enough for a beer in some joints.

AND THE REST OF THE WORLD…..Turkey detains three Russians suspected of Islamic State ties after Istanbul bomb…..which killed 9 Germans…..1 Peruvian…..and injured 15 other people…..car bomb attack at Turkish police station kills 5…..Iran says it has released U.S. sailors accused of trespassing…..well you better if you want to get back into the world market…..Bomb attack at polio vaccination center kills 14 in Pakistani city of Quetta…….South Korea fires warning shot amid tensions over North Korea’s nuclear test…..man arrested in murder of U.S. woman in Italy.….4 charged in Israel over lynching of Eritrean migrant mistaken for a terrorist…..Female suicide bombers kill at least 10 in Cameroon mosque attack…..China detains Swedish national amid crackdown on rights lawyers……12-year-old girl accidentally shot dead by police in Pennsylvania……Half of South Sudan’s children not in school because of the war…..attacks in Jakarta leave 4 gunmen, 7 others dead…..just another beautiful day in the neighborhood!

PHOTOGRAPHER DOCUMENTS THE WAYS HIS GIRLFRIEND TRIES TO HIDE FROM THE CAMERA…..And I know how this guy feels…..it would be easier for me to pull my teeth out with a toothpick….than to ask Nicole to let me take a picture of her….and yes, a lot of people are camera shy….me included.….but the shots Mikael Theimer came up with..…are very striking.….it just goes to show….sometimes you may want to take a certain picture…..and by accident you come up with something beautiful….and his pics of his girlfriend hiding from the camera.….are beautiful…..instead of giving up on taking a nice photo of his girlfriend…..he approached it in a different way.

HUMAN TRIALS WILL TEST FREEZE-DRIED POOP PILLS AS A WEIGHT LOSS TREATMENT…..And folks…..this isn’t even the “Stupid Study People”…..these wack-jobs are saying…..there’s strong evidence that a pill filled with shit..…is good for the microbiome environment inside our guts.….well isn’t it our guts…..that gets rid of it in the first place?…..anyway,…..they’re supposed to be more effective than antibiotics…..the test trails started at Massachusetts General Hospital…. “Faecal Microbiot Transplantation” (FMT) transfers bacteria by a stool transplant from healthy, lean people to a person with obesity….poop samples from healthy donors will be freeze-dried and then given to 21 obese patients during the course of the trial…..thank goodness I’m lean…..because there is no way in hell….I’m gonna swallow somebody’s shit!…..and they said..… “They have no idea what the results will be.”…..and this treatment will last at least three months…..and possibly continue for a year and beyond…..ok, now just imagine…..you wake up, you have your coffee, tea or a beer, you fix something to eat…..and just before you walk out the door…..you swallow a pill full of shit…..yummy!

THE ABILITY TO CONTROL OUR DREAMS COULD HELP US SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF CONSCIOUSNESS….First off…I disagree with the both of them….I know what they consider conscious…..but then there’s this debate…..when we think we are awake…..are we actually asleep…..and when we’re asleep…..are we awake?…..anyway,…..Dan Denis from the University of Scheffield and Giulia Poerio from the University of York wrote this….they say we spend around six-years of our lives dreaming…..which is 2,190 days or 52,560 hours…..and although we can be aware of the perceptions and emotions we experience in our dreams…..we are not conscious in the same way we are awake…..therefore this explains why we can’t recognize that we’re in a dream and often mistake these bizarre narratives for reality…..I don’t know about you……but I can control my dreams….if something weird is happening….I can change it…..I say I don’t want to be here…..and it’s gone.….and I  connect with another energy “Me” somewhere else in the universe…..just me talking.….but I think my energy goes and connects with another me.….because there were dreams I’ve had and I was there before…..and I say to myself…..I’ve been here before…..and remember certain things……and some of you were in them.….you didn’t understand that?…..watch the film with Jet Li called…..The One!…..because he connects with everyone of “HIM”…..in other parallel universes. 

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