REPORTER:…..Name a city that changed your life

ME:…..Wuhan

WHEN SOMEONE…..tells me….I look familiar…..I tell them….. “I do porn”

LET’S WANDER….where the WiFi is weak

NEVER CHANGE…..to be accepted by others…..stay weird

YOU DON’T LIKE ME?…..that’s a shame…..I will need a few minutes to recover from this tragedy

I’M NOT GOING OUTSIDE AGAIN…..until the temperature is higher…..than my age

SHE SAID SHE MISSED ME…..normally that would be good……but she’s reloading

THE RELATIONSHIP.…..with yourself…..sets the tone…..for every other relationship you have

SOMEDAY WE WILL ALL DIE…..but on all the other days…..we will not

YOU WANT TO KNOW…..the difference between a master and a beginner?…..the master has failed more times…..than the beginner has ever tried

IF A HAD A FLOWER…..for every time I thought of you…..I could walk in my garden forever

THERE’S NOTHING SCARIER…..than the split second where you lose your balance in the shower…..and you think….. “Oh God, they’re going to find me naked”

IF YOU’RE A DEMOCRACY……and all your people don’t have voting rights……you’re not a democracy

WINE…..because yoga can’t solve all your problems

WHEN A SOCIETY……regrets the economic loss more than the loss of life……it doesn’t need a virus……it is already sick

THE DIFFERENCE……between mediocrity and excellence.…..is often a matter of effort

I’M GLAD WE ONLY LIVE ONCE……because I can’t do this shit again

THE GOVERNMENT IS FINALLY……legalizing weed.…..because that’s what you do when you’re broke and desperate…..you sell drugs

EVERYTHING IS OK……in the end.….if it’s not ok…..then it’s not the end

DEAR WORLD….stop destroying our houses…..stop bombing our countries…..stop killing our people.….before you stop telling us to stop being refugees

THE AVERAGE PERSON….tells 4 lies a day….1,460 a year…..a total of 87,600 by the age of 60….and the most common one is…..I’m fine!

AND DEFINITELY MY FAVORITE……

A WOMAN REACHES…..a certain age where she doesn’t want anyone’s drama…..she doesn’t want to fight with anyone……but if she’s forced to.…..you should know…..she won’t fight fair…..she will not quit…..and there are no weapons she won’t use…..it’s best to leave her alone…..don’t poke older women……they will hurt you BAD!