…..Why not?…..I proposed to Nicole while I made her breakfast and she said yes…now that I think about it…..was the yes for breakfast or…..
MAN WITH FIRE EXTINGUISHER HELD WALMART EMPLOYEES HOSTAGE…Only in Walmart!
IT IS ILLEGAL IN THE USA FOR ANYONE TO CONTACT ALIENS…..Well you better stay away from Walmart!
WHAT IS THE BEST ADVICE YOUR MOTHER EVER GAVE YOU?…..I can think of two…1)..when you see trouble coming go the other way….2) Respect is earned-not given.
MICHELE BACHMANN: WE NEED TO FOCUS ON SPIRITUAL WARFARE TO FIGHT GAY MARRIAGE….Oh shut up!
MARIAH CAREY PLANNING A WORLD TOUR…Well she can by-pass Hamburg!
IT’S ILLEGAL FOR WITCHES TO FLY BROOMSTICKS ABOVE 150 METERS IN SWAZILAND…Uh Huh!
BARBARA WALTERS ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT….I’m going to miss Ba-Ba Wa-Wa…..did you know she was once a Playboy Bunny?…..well, only for a day!
BOYS SUSPENDED FOR PLAYING COPS AND ROBBERS DURING RECESS…..Oh come on!
SCIENTISTS UNRAVEL THE MYSTERIES OF THE TEENAGE BRAIN….Well I hope they share that information with parents who have teenagers.
IF WOMEN DON’T WANT TO BE RAPED THEY SHOULDN’T DRINK SO MUCH SAYS HONG KONG OFFICIAL….His comment really pissed me off…..I can’t imagine what good an elected official who thinks like this is doing for the city……he must be related to the idiot mayor in Osaka, Japan.
OFFICIALS ESTIMATE POWERBALL JACKPOT AT $360M…..I hope you’re playing…..and if you win, just remember Nicole and I have to pay the rent at the end of the month!
NIGERIA: GOODLUCK JONATHAN DELCARES A STATE OF EMERGENCY…..Well Good luck Jonathan.
WILLIAM KAPRIS: PAPUA NEW GUINEA’S MOST NOTORIOUS BANK ROBBER ESCAPES JAIL……Where in the world does he expect to escape to?….isn’t that place an island?
BEIJING’S NEXT TARGET IN POLLUTION FIGHT IS…….BARBECUE……Yeah, those rats, dogs and horses can really stink up the joint!
KNICK’S OWNER FALLS ASLEEP OUT OF BOREDOM AT GAME 4 VS PACERS…..And he wasn’t the only one!
FLORIDA MAN SHOOTS HIMSELF WHILE BOWLING……I’ve never gotten that mad because I missed a spare.
KFC SMUGGLED INTO GAZA FROM EGYPT…Man those Palestinians must really love some bird…..or as my man Isagani says; “They want some Barnyard Pimp!”
VENEZUELA IS RUNNING OUT OF TOILET PAPER…..Well that’s really gonna raise a shit storm.
ROOF COLLAPSE AT CAMBODIAN SHOE PLANT…..What is up with all these buildings falling down…..2 in Bangladesh, Rwanda, China, India and a few more places.
CHUCK E. CHEESE GAMBLING SPARKS CONTROVERSY IN FLORIDA…..Cool…..now the kids can play Craps and crap at the same time!
CHEF KILLED OVER MEAL IN GERMANY….I’m sure glad Nicole likes my cooking…..if you don’t hear from me in a few days from now…..well!