…..Damn, those Cubs will do anything to win the World Series.
PORN STAR CONGRATULATES THE POPE….How???
WHAT COUNTRY POSES THE GREATEST THREAT TO AMERICA…..Ha, that’s an easy one…..America!
CAN EATING INSECTS SAVE THE WORLD?…I don’t know but I bet you the insects have a different opinion on that question.
RATS ON COCAINE LOVE MILES DAVIS….I’m….I…..hey!
TRIAL OF DEAD LAWYER GETS UNDERWAY IN RUSSIA….Do you think they will issue an arrest warrant if he doesn’t show up?
GOING TO COLLEGE REDUCES YOUR CHANCES OF BECOMING A DRUNK….I guess the person who wrote this article never went to college.
THE BEST WAY TO BOIL AN EGG….Ah….put it in hot water maybe?
DOUBLE AMPUTEE ALLEGEDLY SHOOTS WALMART EMPLOYEE….Ok, I’m going to let you figure out how he did that.
JUSTIN BIEBER’S MONKEY QUARANTINED IN GERMANY…..Wow!…..that must’ve been one ugly groupie.
SOMETHING IS KILLING UP TO HALF THE BEES IN AMERICA…..Yeah!…..newspapers, back of the hand, fly swatters, Nikes, windshields.
BEYONCE´ DOES NOT SEEM TO KNOW HOW TO DRIVE A TAXI….Will someone please tell me why this woman would have to drive a taxi?
DOZENS OF TEACHERS IN ATLANTA INDICTED IN CHEATING SCANDAL….You mean to tell me they didn’t know the answers to the test?
NIKI MINAJ CALLS LIL WAYNE “SOOOO SEXY”…WHAT!…..he looks like one of the extras sitting at the bar in the movie called Germlins.
VICKI GUNVALSON ON HER NEW FACE AFTER PLASTIC SURGERY: “I’M STILL NUMB”…..Yeah…and I bet you probably drool when you eat soup…..and who the heck is this woman?
SOFIA VERGARA: “THEY’RE FREEZING MY EGGS”…..Hey, better yours than mine babe.
WHY DID 28,000 RIVERS IN CHINA DISAPPEAR…Hmmmm, let’s see…..mudslides, earthquakes, green stuff floating in them, white stuff floating in them, toxic waste from mining….“PIGS!”
RINGLING BROS. ELEPHANT SHOT IN MISSISSIPPI DRIVE-BY….You want to tell me someone did a drive-by on an Elephant?
SNOOP LION SAYS: “RAP AND GAY DON’T MIX”…Yo, you got it wrong Dogg…..Rap and Gay don’t rhyme!
JEREMY LIN ON 60 MINUTES: “I WAS DISCRIMINATED AGAINST…..Well welcome to the real world son…..who hasn’t been.
THERE IS NO AMERICAN SOLUTION IN AFGHANISTAN…..Then pack it up, call it a day and get the hell out of there.
CLASS OF 2013 LIKELY TO FACE TOUGH START IN TIGHT JOB MARKET….You mean just like the class of 2012 and 2011 and 2010…?
CHINA’S LONGEST RIVER RUNNING OUT OF FISH….Hey, no problem…..they still have plenty of pigs floating around.